Dancing with the Dark Face of the Divine Masculine (Part 1) – Episode 40

In this episode, we discuss the Dark Face of the Divine Masculine and our deepest longing to fully express ourselves.

As women, we say we want to be met by the masculine. Step up, grow a pair, be a man. But can they? Given our current societal norms and what we, as women, feel toward the masculine, can they?!?

If they did, what would it do for us? How would it open our hearts? How would it change our sex, our passion, the way we raise our children?

What’s the gift here and how can we do it? How can we open to both the fullness of the feminine AND the masculine?

If you’re looking to dive deep into the practices and energies we explore have a look at our online workshops and retreats on our online programs page.

Full length audio version

Dancing With the Dark Masculine – in this episode:

(Note: times are based on the audio version of this episode.)

3.02: Opening circle – Drumming, Breathing and Opening
5.20: Introduction to the Dark Masculine
6.13: Healthy vs Unhealthy Expression of the Dark Masculine
7.33: Acceptance of Dark Goddess vs Dark Masculine
8.18: The Liberation and Gifts of the Dark Goddess
15.50: The Polarizing Energy of the Dark Masculine & the Shutdown in Our Society
18.03: ReWilding Practice #1 – Feel Into a Man You Love Deeply and What You Would Want For Him
22.17: The Collective Holding of the Dark Masculine
24.50: What ’50 Shades of Gray’ Tells Us About What We’re Craving
27.27: Creating a Series Based Around the Dark Masculine
29.28: The Power and Gifts of the Dark Masculine
35.01: Invitation to Inner Circle
35.22: Closing circle

Art credit: Ashley Fouillard, ReWilding member


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  1. Dawn Kali on May 3, 2018 at 2:33 am

    Yes. Absolutely. I know this in my Being and I invite it. I’m aware of my desire and my longing to be met by a man in his full power. All of it. I’m not afraid of that, even though my past is one of violent sexual abuse I allow my man the space, the freedom and the motivation to explore and claim it. I want him to bring it to me. I want to be confronted. I want this discomfort and the fear that precedes growth. He doesn’t. And I’m not going to do it for him. He has to own it, take responsibility for doing his work and be accountable. He doesn’t know how. And I’m so past believing I have to facilitate it or lead him to it. In fact, I can’t. Men simply must do their own work. I cannot dispel his fear and I know this through working with my own fear and PTSD and that of many other women. No one else can extricate your fear or disarm your triggers. There’ll always be more. They run deep. You have to do the work every single time you uncover the next and the next. My man, your man, any man, cannot step into more of who he is without expecting to work through his own fears and the fears those fears invoke! They’ve been conditioned into believing they can. It’s a wake up call that hits hard to find all your own shit back in your corner.

    In this lifetime, I’ve facilitated, initiated and journeyed with my man through so much of his awakening and growth. I sometimes feel like more of a mother than a partner. I want him to be equal but I refuse to nurse him along the way. I know men are afraid of diving into this part of themselves because just like us, they are terrified of confronting the horror of the truth they must accept and move through – and let’s be honest the truth of the cruelty, brutality and depravity the masculine is responsible for is sickening. I know my man wants to distance himself from that truth, he doesn’t want to believe that that potential resides in him so he avoids it. He is also afraid for me because he knows my past and wants to protect me but isn’t sure he can and is also afraid that I don’t need him to. He worries the Dark Masculine will consume him, he worries he will lose me because of it. Small, ego concerns but very real for him nevertheless.

    Many of my past lives have been as priestess, healer, medicine woman, shaman. I’ve healed thousands of men with my body over millennia. I’ve allowed their pain to be transmuted through me. I’ve been the light, the hope, the container, the vessel, the heart, the salve, the cleaner-upper. No. More. Come to me in fullness, come to me in wholeness, I will deal with whatever you bring but come to me of your own volition you must. I will no longer guide your every footfall. I’m not your spiritual crutch.

    The Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine in all their expressions are being awakened. It’s a long way back for both but the Feminine has done so much of the work for both already, so much of the heavy lifting that now the Masculine is retarded in its development. To remedy this the Masculine must take back the work that they have dumped into our laps and we must stop being complicit and believing it’s our responsibility to do their work for them.
    I don’t mind if you bring me shadow, let’s use that to work together through both of our fears but I’m not going to write you an instruction booklet nor kiss your boo boo’s.

    Kali holds the head of ego. Perfect analogy. Shiva is under her foot, another perfect analogy because although he’s under her foot he isn’t under her, he’s holding her up and he’s radiating and demonstrating his strength, love, respect and equanimity. Both of them independently interdependent, unequivocal equal expressions of sovereignty and there’s always an element of risk in both of them, their potential is terrifying – precisely because they each demand their own wholeness. Bring that on!

    By the way, by your reckoning then, I must be the only woman on the planet who has never even touched a copy of 50 Shades or seen so much as a trailer for it. I wouldn’t entertain a second of that shit.

    • kelly hart on May 3, 2018 at 4:26 pm

      Dawn! I see you and feel your grace and power. Thank you for your comments. xo

  2. Vivien on June 6, 2018 at 12:10 am

    Thanks Dawn Kali. Yes men have to face their fear and come to us in their strength.
    You are right no more absorbing the berserk destructiveness in men post warfare as did priestesses of old. And tome to stop allowing men to permanently use sex as a way to re find the Mother instead of finding the Divine Feminine in themselves. Time for new roles and intimacy of a different order.
    And BTW you are not the only woman on the planet with no interest on 50 Shades of Gray.
    Sabrina makes a point about people wanting something more, but it’s a good tag as well!

  3. Ioannis on June 16, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    Sister – this is my journey.

    Awakening and cultivating the Healthy Dark Masculine within my own self. Thank you so much for your courage, truth and holding compassion for the Masculine that is in fact so wounded and has not been able to step up and hold the space for the Collective and the Feminine. I am a man that has struggled deeply with my Masculinity due to Lineage, Collective gunk, Cultural/Religious conditioning, bullying and so many other factors. There is a deep fear and unknowingness within men to harness this energy within us. The Khal Drogo, Ares, all Mighty Zeus, Hercules…because to get to these archetypal energies, we must first face the shadow within us and to realize the Unhealthy/Unconscious parts of the Masculine within our own selves and how animalistic and primal they in fact are. And I think I speak on behalf of ALL men, that all we crave is to have access to the Healthy Dark Masculine who gets shit done, who doesn’t let anything stand in the way of his visions and goals, who will go to war for his beloved and his values and who can of course instil trust in the Feminine in the bedroom to ravish her. And then of course there is the other aspect, can my woman hold space for this kind of power? Will she be afraid of me? Will she project all of the patriarchal shame and guilt onto me when I am so present in my power and honour? When I all I want is to be is authentic? To show my heart and soul? And that might require for me to growl and roar and pound on my chest? I need the Animal. I need the Primal. Fuck yeah, I do. It is crucial so that I can feel like a man. It is crucial for the woman to witness this so that she KNOWS how PROTECTED and SAFE she in fact is.

    And here is the thing. I cannot access my Masculine fully and authentically without being in full acceptance and love for my own Feminine. The Patriarchy Masculine over all these centuries has been wounding itself due to oppression of the Feminine within its own self. I cannot be the authentic Masculine without holding space and witnessing my own Feminine that needs to feel safe and protected. Man cannot be reborn into Consciousness if he does not accept and love his own Feminine. She is the Womb that will give new life again. If men are in relationships and are not meeting their partners, it’s not only because women are negating their power as men, it’s also the men themselves that haven’t accepted their Feminine energies due to eons of toxic masculinity conditioning. It’s not our girlfriends or wives that are going to make us be men, it’s our own Feminine that will get this done. And once this gets done – THAT is how we MEET our girlfriends and wives in relationships.
    I agree that this is such a taboo topic and so many people on both sides will get pissed off but staying silent won’t heal or provide the resolution we are ALL so desperately seeking & need. Thank you again for this video.

    You spoke my Truth. Please continue with the Dark Masculine Series.

    PS – Chiron has moved into Aries after all. So if there was ever time for the Collective Masculine to heal and to cultivate the Healthy Dark Masculine…it’s N O W.

    All my love,


    • kelly hart on June 16, 2018 at 5:13 pm

      Amen, sister! We see you and hear you. Thank you for sharing your truth. xoxo

  4. Silje on September 1, 2018 at 5:21 am

    Hi i am Silje from Norway, usually i read a lot, for fun and relaxation, but now i am down with the flu, and my eyes dont like to read, so i decided to listen to podcasts, and i stumbeled across yours. And this was fun! There is soo much mushy halfway crap out there, but you are for real…and i totally ressonate with your exsplanation of sex. That is the only sex worth having…seriously! Anything less is a no go….but very funny how you gave voice to it, i loved that!

    • kelly hart on September 1, 2018 at 7:47 am

      Hi Silje! Thank you for your feedback! Glad you enjoyed the episode. Welcome to ReWilding! xoxo