Podcast 91 – Deepening Practice and Reflective Questions

Shadow Work Reflective Questions

Deepening practice and reflective questions to support the deconstruction of old belief systems, within self, that are no longer true… or perhaps never have been.

Below are two lists composed of comments shared in our Facebook LIVE discussion on 16 May 2020. It was turned into a podcast 91, which you can find here: ReWilding for Women Episode 91. We invite you to use them as a way to deepen in, to illuminate areas within self that are ready to be seen and to become conscious so that they may serve as a catapult to the next step on your evolutionary path.

Stop… take a deep breath… soften and drop into your body. Tune in to what comments drum up the loudest response in your system. Then, if you are called to go even deeper use the comment(s) that calls the loudest as a doorway. As you feel into what arises ask a few of the below questions to help provide some guidance:

What is here for me to see?
What is here for me to learn?
What is here for me to release or let go of?
What direction is this leading me?
What is this asking me to create?
What should my next step be?
Where or how can I allow this to move?
How can I support myself during this shift?
How can I offer this part of me more love, more compassion?
How can I honor what has arisen?
How can I release what is ready to be let go of?

List #1 – Indicators that may arise when you start to realize an old value or belief system you adhere to is no longer valid or perhaps never was. Furthermore; many of us were taught to value the outward expression of masculine energy (logical, directional, achieving, focused) over the more subtle feminine energies (flowing, sensitive, intuitive, compassionate). These shares may serve as red flags and help us begin to deconstruct these unconscious beliefs within ourselves:

Fear and lack of trust in myself
I was taught to value other over self (self sacrificing out of non authentic compromising)
I can not trust my wild feminine, my intuition (rational more valuable than non logic intuition)
That I am selfish, doing this for me is selfish
Feeling shame or guilt when following soul, need to create space for self – I am not a good partner, mother, daughter … (for becoming the rainbow sheep – not black, not white
Feeling the need for approval from others in order to make big life decisions
I am not whole without a romantic partner
I am not whole without children, a house or a fulltime job
There is only one way to be successful
There’s a belief that I can’t trust a man to be reliable/honest
Need to protect myself or try to control the situation
The expression of emotion is not good, too much, too intense, too…
Speaking my truth leads to abandonment
Radiating my deep love creates abandonment
Menstruation is an inconvenience to be dealt with not revered
Feeling lack in self or less than because of making mistakes
Giving everything is not good enough
The harder, the more, the better
The more effort I give, the better the outcome and higher the value
Making things happen with little effort is not as valuable
Needing to feel stressed out when doing/creating a ton of stuff. I fucking can move from piece to piece in a nonlinear way and can relax into the weaving creating process
Feeling shame and guilt for shine and sexuality, for being expressed
If I’m not “grinding it out ” then I must not be working hard enough or doing it right
Following to the end no matter what – non authentic loyalty even if it stops being aligned (finishing a task, loyalty to job, organization, person, relationship)
Compromising boundaries – Compromise my own peace and contentment by trying to hold caring and understanding space for others
Emotion is wrong and less than mind/thought
Unconscious is less than conscious
Rest is not allowed, must be constantly busy, doing, not being
I am about to make choices that just feel on the edge of “I don’t deserve it”
Feeling the need to keep myself small and hidden out of safety and security
Being afraid to open more… Like it would be too much to handle and you’ll go crazy
Mediocrity is good enough – It’s ridiculous to think you can have a life that’s more than that
I don’t belong, I’m the weird one and I won’t find my people or my person
Fear of being humiliated or killed when touching into the secrets of life
My value is associated with my physical appearance. My true self is not valuable or seen.
I am only a sexual object for the eyes of other… And as my body changed after children, I was no longer valuable, beautiful, desirable, etc
Parenting and being a caring human to your family IS work though it is not valued or paid work
Pushing through is the way to overcome obstacles
Perfectionism
Feel responsible for happiness of others
That I can’t be happy with the way I am
Feeling guilty about creating boundaries
There is only one spiritual path. All other paths are evil or demonic
I will never be whole without the religion I walked away from
I have to be the best at everything…
Asking for support is an expression of not good enough
Good girls should be seen, not heard
It is not acceptable to question the status quo
When my efforts are considered required instead of valued
That I can control everything
To have men in my life means I have to tolerate their underlying sexual energy and objectification therefore I must stay small to stay safe

List #2: Markers that may indicate when and where we are not being authentic to self or living our truest expression:

Feeling sick
Comfort eating to distract self
I am called to separate my sense of worthiness from whatever my partner is doing or not doing
I start looking for things to do, anything to get outside of myself
Physically closing down in my body
Not wanting to express strong emotion
I get short-tempered, cry and distance myself from people
I no longer feel my energy running through my body
A tightening in the throat
Heat or pain in solar plexus
Headaches like crazy
I start saying things like — wait I been here before
I put on a kindness “show”
Using a shallow high voice or a shallow laugh as a reaction to cover a trigger
Rage, anger, sadness, freezing – it changes, depending on the topic
I know when I start reaching for the wine bottle!
Intense emotions
I feel it in my gut, but I often ignore it for a long time, because it doesn’t feel rational but it always turns out to be true!
I feel a sense of energy building up that I can’t control. A feeling of “anxiety” but knowing there is no “reason” that’s when I know it’s time to shift and dig deep!
I feel like I’m completely falling apart so I can come back together in a whole new way, but it’s HARD
I ache more, I’m unhappy a lot, I feel unfulfilled, more irritable and I feel like things that used to serve me just feel like mundane chores
I have “no time” for things that don’t bring me peace
less meditations, less caring for self
It physically hurts. And I manage to always hurt myself. Small scale I just bump my head. Big scale I fall so hard I end up in a wheelchair
I get judgy of other people who enrage me, but it’s my reflection I must see myself in what triggers me
It feels like no matter how much “thinking” I do I can’t seem to “resolve” the “problem”
I’m working through being willfully naive…it’s tricky
If I don’t get it the first few times the Universe seems to throw it at me at full speed
I forget how to focus my energy only on me
1000 thoughts at the same time, on the topic and running from it at the same time
It’s a knowing. You know, you just know
A kind of a self disgust for letting it go too long
I feel restless and frustrated
Want to hermit, numb out or get irritable
Get migraines and just want to sleep when things get too difficult
Traumatic structures become triggered, and my inner child is really needy
I project my insecurities on others
Comparing self with others, blaming outside circumstances
Feeling sickness, nausea, solar plexus. I curl up
Tension in my gut…root chakra area
I hold my breath, the breath becomes shallow
Tension in the body
No sexual energy

Created by Bianca Skutnik